On my 13th birthday my mom showed up AT SCHOOL wearing a gorilla suit and carrying balloons. Horrifying right? I still remember seeing her walk in and thinking that someone was about to have a very bad day, then she walked toward me. It has always baffled me, why would my otherwise cool mom choose to humiliate her daughter on the most awkward of birthdays- I mean c’mon junior high is fraught with embarrassment, did I really need my mom to show up at my locker after school dressed like an ape? I think not.
However, in the past few months here are a few other embarrassments I’ve endured…
1. In Barnes and Noble in Spokane Delaney thought it would be funny to lift up my dress. Hope those happy little shoppers enjoyed a nice look at my granny panties.
2. Laney announced LOUDLY to Jessica and Emersyn (and the entire audience at story time in the Kennewick library) that “My daddy has a butt, but I have a bum. You hear that Jessa and moo moo?”
3. In a public restroom she has asked me to “help squeeze her poop out.” (No idea where that one came from).
This from a child who can scream like a hyena and has no problem waking the dead when she doesn’t get what she wants in a store. She has also- knocked over and entire rack of clothes on Emersyn in Gymboree, cried and rolled all over the floor in almost every store possible and peeked under restroom stalls and dressing room doors, just to say hi.
Lets just say I’ve recently gotten a little insight into what compelled my usually sane mother dress up like a monkey in public.
Paybacks are a bitch.
I think I’ll put a Gorilla costume on hold….
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3 comments:
you forgot to mention that Moo Moo depants her and showed off HER panties to the library---that is my personal fave:)
Your stories make me feel a little better, like I am not the only one with a wild child. Hunter jumped or more like tackled a whole pallet of nicely stacked toilet paper at walgreens the other day. horrifying!! but i have to admit it was kind of funny seeing the look on his face, he thorougly enjoyed it.
I'm with Jande! Amy you just put it in words better than I can how my days go. I HATE taking my kids into public bathrooms because I'm nervous of what they are going to say. In fact at church Jackson yelled out of his stall...mom why can't I stand up and pee, I only pee on the toilet sometimes! I won't even get started on what life is like taking Parker to the store. I LOVE when you post things like this.
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